35+4!

It’s 3:53 am as I start this blog. My sleep has become a little more challenging of late.

And as the title suggests, my current gestation is 35+4 weeks!

34-35 weeks was what my midwife has told me is “average” twin delivery time since my booking in appointment, so 35weeks has always been an aim in my head – which also just so happened to be my husbands birthday – what finer present could I give the man?! It might have been all downhill in the present stakes after that point though, thinking about it.

Ive been plodding on since Christmas. Plodding sometimes being the operative word, as I feel more and more like overpacked donkey/small family car. I think in all honesty, I could or perhaps should have started my maternity leave in parallel with breaking up for Christmas. The 2weeks I worked into 2018 felt difficult and I ended up taking a few days off sick last week as I’d contracted some germs. I started with D&V and still have the remnants of  horrible cold. Listen to your body anyone?! But still, I managed to complete my handover and left with things in a state I was fairly happy with.

I also passed said germs to Mr Hasdogswantshumans, right in line with his birthday 🤦🏻‍♀️ So the (surprise) treats I’d lined up for him (us) have been postponed until this coming weekend which is definitely something I’m looking forward to. A night away in a fancy (local!) hotel and a reservation at a Smokehouse nearby – my husband is a big carnivore!

And lastly, but by no means least – I was given a date for a planned c-section yesterday. So no later than the 9 February and we’ll be meeting our daughters. That’s just 15short days! Eeeeeeeeep.

Its not the way I’d wanted to deliver, but you gotta roll with the punches in this game haven’t you? Baby closest the exit had turned breech at a growth scan I attended at around 32weeks and had not turned back when I attended the presentation scan yesterday. Upper baby is transverse so neither of them currently in a position that fits with natural delivery! Should I go into labour ahead of the 9th I’ll be treated as an emergency section from the get-go, which I’d very much like to avoid. But should I make it as planned, I’ll be just shy of 38weeks which I’d be very happy with.

And hopefully, as someone who’s never had major surgery before and is very squeamish, will give me time to find a little inner calm about the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong, I see the positives. My rational brain knows exactly why things are having to happen this way and I trust my doctors/midwife and consultants, I get that its for the greater good…. but the other bit of my brain is freaking out a little bit over the whole thing. I need to seek out some of my c-section surviving friends and do some relaxation exercises on the subject I think!

So over and out for now I guess, with a little luck I’ll be able to update on how the whole thing went in the not *too* distant future. Wish me luck!

Advertisements

A glass of non alcoholic wine and a bath bomb

Was what greeted me on my return home today and jeeeeez was I ready for it.

I finished work for the Christmas break on Monday, but this carrying twins malarkey is hard!

On Sunday I’ll be 31 weeks. Time seems to have sped up dramatically this last month or 2.

I have a new bathroom and the carpet layers are visiting next week in amongst all the festivities, we just need to get cracking on the nursery and we’re in the home straight.

I’ve been counting myself lucky recently, not just for the obvious, but to be tall, with a long torso (not something I ever thought about being thankful for previously!) only over the last few weeks have I been struggling with being pregnant, I have no idea how a Kylie Minogue sized lady would carry twins! Never have I been so glad of not being dainty 💪🏻 I feel pretty ok most of the time. Bit achey, bit tired, but I’ve sailed through this pregnancy mostly problem free – and long may it continue.

The number I have in my head is 35weeks. If I can get there, hopefully everything will be straight forward. No or minimal NICU time. And if I’m going all out, a natural delivery too please!

Although 35 weeks is only a month away…. 😬

Few more weeks won’t hurt!

Viability 

I’ve been anticipating getting to this point in my pregnancy.
We’re viable. Which in layman’s terms means that should the babies be born right now, they stand about a 50/50 chance of making it. These odds increase in their favour the longer they stay safely on board.

Everything has been progressing well. I’m growing all the time, but not too hindered by my bump yet. I feel them move around each day which has really helped with my anxiety.

I’ll be seeing the midwife on Tuesday. Have my next growth scan the following week – And this afternoon we’re attending a twin antenatal course. Not sure what to expect, but we know very little about caring for babies, let alone 2 babies at once, so this seemed necessary!

Our mothers have thrown themselves into knitting and crocheting like there’s no tomorrow. The things they’re creating are adorable. And it’s so lovely to see them both so excited to meet their granddaughters.

That’s me for now. I’m hopeful for another dull update in the coming weeks – well maybe not too dull, Christmas is round the corner! 🎄

21 weeks – Who runs the world?

GIRLS!

We returned to the hospital yesterday for a rescan after the BG’s were uncooperative at our first attempt at an anomaly scan.

All is still progressing just how it should be. Which is a weight off for another few weeks.

We decided to find out the sex of the babies and as the title of this blogs suggests, we have 2 little ladies on their way to the world. For some reason I’d always struggled to see myself with girls. But now I’m daydreaming about raising little wild colourful feminists 🌈

Have managed to keep my mind mostly occupied since our last scan, we’ve been busy with birthdays, trips, weddings and anniversaries, but as usual, in the build up to our visit yesterday I began feeling anxious. This is alien for me. I rarely worry about anything ordinarily. I don’t know if this is a product of our loss or it taking us 4 years to get to this point or whether all pregnant women feel like this – Whatever the reason, I wish I could shake it!

We started our baby shopping in the last few weeks, just booties, baby grows and wipes, but it’s a start, after being too afraid to purchase previously.

We’ve also started to renovate the upstairs of our house. Moved into what was our spare room over the weekend. We still have a bathroom to rip out and replace and a nursery to organise… told you I wasn’t a worrier! Haha. We’re going to be busy over the next few months 😆

Below is 21weeks progress -, also, they’ve gotten quite kicky over the last week or so! I first noticed it not long after we’d landed in Germany for my best friends wedding. The baby highest up in my stomach even managed to kick my husband in the face one night when we were chilling out in our hotel, his head resting on my belly.

This is one way they reassure me they’re doing ok in there without the help of a sonographer.

My next hurdle is my 24week midwife appointment and 25week progress scan. I hope to spend them with as little to report as possible!

Barry and Maurice

I’m currently having a little lie in, lounging around in a strange, but lovely bed in Scotland.

I’m 15 weeks pregnant today. 105 days. I was informed this morning that our babies are the size of an avocado or a chocolate eclair. Doesn’t seem enough for how large I’m feeling! Haha. Most of my first trimester symptoms have dropped off now thankfully. I’m just left with huge, tender boobs and wanting to sleep a lot. By comparison, I’m all for the second trimester! 

I’ve started to allow myself to believe that this might actually be our time. We saw the Baby G’s (or Beegees for short, that’s where Barry and Maurice came from, Mr Hasdogswantshumans hates it when I refer to them as that 😁 worse still, Bazza and Mazza!) at our 12 week scan. Wiggling around, even body popping at points, little hearts beating away, it was incredible. But I still wasn’t confident in telling many people. 

After 4 years of trying and a miscarriage, I just didn’t (and sometimes still don’t) trust that we’ll make it. So no social media announcements. No shouting from the rooftops. The people who knew about treatment now know and are overjoyed for us. Along with a few work colleagues. But that’s your lot. 

I’m being scanned 4 weekly for growth monitoring which will hopefully help to ease my worries, with my next one being a week on Thursday at 16+2. Seeing the midwife a few days prior, where she tells me she’ll attempt to chase 2 heartbeats around my belly, hopefully that will be wonderful ❤

So Barry and Maurice, I hope you’re having a whale of a time in my expanding tummy. I put a lot of hard work in making your accommodation a palatial, 5 star temporary home over the last few years. Your Dad and I can’t wait to have you in our own house early in 2018 – it might not be the luxury surroundings that my uterus is currently providing, but we promise it’s filled with an insane amount of love – and you’ll probably be ready to move out of your cramped living conditions by then anyway.

Eating for 3

So yesterday was our viability scan and as the title of this blog suggests, we got a surprise!

I had managed to stay fairly calm until the 24 hour run up to the appointment, but by the time we were sitting in the waiting room for our scan, I’d mentally prepared myself for the worst, fearing another horrific viability surprise. 

What we were faced with was a different kind of surprise – 2 little heartbeats flickering away, 2! As soon as I saw those black and white flutterings my tearducts got the better of me. Mr Hasdogswantshumans was grinning from ear to ear and the nurse said that this was the best bit of her job.

We’d joked about having twins, we obviously knew it was a real posibility. When 2 embryos are popped back at transfer (this was at the clinics advice, not our insistence), you kind of talk yourself into believing that neither will stick, it doesn’t enter your mind that everything could go exactly right and you end up with twins!

So it’s taking some getting my head around. Every so often, one of us just goes *twins!!!!* and we obviously have loads more hurdles to jump before we’re at the finish line, but I fell a little bit in love with those blobs on the screen yesterday 😍

    So far, so good

My last blog was just post egg collection, I think. Seems forever ago. The days that came immediately after were (unexpectedly) angst ridden. I hadn’t counted on being so stressed about getting that call each morning to see how those little 12 eggs. were doing. And they really string it out… it feel’s like when they tell you who’s won on Xfactor –

*Hello is that Mrs Hasdogswantshumans?*

*Hello, yes good morning* – same number you’ve been calling for me for the past few weeks, hurry up….

*Are you OK today?*

*Yes, thank you* Less smalltalk please 

*Could you just confirm your date of birth for me please?*

Huff *Yes, day/month/year* for the love of God good woman, what are those embryos doing?! Have they all arrested over night? Have they mutated into the next evolutionary step? Has the clinic burned down and they met a firey doom? SPEAK!

Long story short, of 12 eggs, 9 fertilised. 48 hours in, there were 2 groups – 5, 4cell embryos and 4 straggling 2cells embryos. 

By 72 hours in, I was losing my shit – we’d been scheduled for a 3day transfer as my clinic shuts over the weekend and day 5 fell on a Sunday. They hadn’t called by 10:30 to give me the latest. We needed to leave for the clinic at 10:45 to be on time for our 11:30 arrival as planned – I’d told them this the day prior. So I called in a panic. They reassured me that we were still going ahead and they’d call back asap with the latest. So on our way in, they called. There were 2 front runners. Both 8 cell, grade 2, one with little fragmentation, the other with an average amount. They advised to pop both back – we’d always said that we’d go with whatever the professionals deemed best, they know what they’re doing 1million percent more than we do in this situation. So after a little conflab on the remainder of the journey, we went with it and agreed to 2.

There were other embryos that didn’t look in such good shape, but they said that they’d monitor them over the weekend, as they were in an embryoscope anyway, and keep us updated.

So, had the 2x 3day embryos poofed back home, easy peasy 😊

The clinic called on Monday morning to inform me that one of the embryos had defied all expectations and made it to a great looking day 6 hatching blast. This was such unexpected, but wonderful news! She said that they needed to freeze it asap or the nurses would be changing its nappies.

2 week wait was annoyingly slow.

I started to get an inkling that maybe things were going as we’d hoped last weekend. I also developed OHSS last weekend, which hasn’t been fun! I’ve been drinking water like it’s my job and not really been able to eat much at all (I ❤ to eat!) and my stomach is still so bloated that I look 4/5 months pregnant.

…. when in fact I’m only 4/5 weeks pregnant 😊 I’m feeling really cautious about it at the moment. Not really allowing myself to get excited. But we tested on Tuesday (day my period should’ve been due) and got a positive. And again today, on OTD and got a darker positive. So I’m just trying to thinking about it in little chunks. Next hurdle, beta test at the clinic!

But as I say in the title of this blog – so far, so good.