Dottie and Olive

They’re heeeeeeeeere!

Only a few short days after my last post did their arrival surprise us at exactly 36weeks.

I’d written about a belated birthday celebration for my husband in my last post – thankfully we got to enjoy our last night away as a twosome in a fancy hotel room with some delicious food, but only hours after getting home that same afternoon, my waters broke and I went into labour.

I’d been feeling fairly miserable and felt like I was really struggling for a few days prior to this, but had assumed it was still just the after affects of recovering from the flu. Apparently it was not.

We’d come back, and walked the dogs, which seemed to be a superhuman task and I’d just put on my pyjamas to enjoy a relaxing evening watching a couple of films. I got up from the sofa to grab something from the kitchen and whoosh – it was literally like those scenes you see in films. None stop water, everywhere.

Only my water was red. That wasn’t right.

I called the birthing unit and they told me to come in straight away.

So we grabbed our things and made the journey over.

I was checked over and examined on arrival and it soon became apparent that something was wrong. I was in theatre less than half an hour after arriving at hospital. Because I was on blood thinners, I had to be put under general anaesthetic for my emergency Caesarian so I would miss the arrival of my daughters – initially I shed a few tears about this, but as things were becoming more fraught – nurses concerned looks to one another, people not talking to me, the amount of people in the room – I was actually glad to be out of the rising panic I was beginning to feel.

Mr Hasdogswantshumans was unfortunately not allowed to stay with me either in this situation, so I kissed him goodbye as I was wheeled away on a trolley.

I know he spent the next hour alone and worried. But what greeted him next, were his 2 happy, healthy daughters.

I didn’t meet them until a little while later when the effects of the anaesthetic had worn off.

Both girls were perfect. Small, but perfect. And strong little things! Despite their size (Dottie weighed 4lb 4oz and Olive 5lb 5oz) neither one of them needed to spend any time in neonatal and they were placed with us on the maternity wing straight away.

We gained our own private room where we stayed as a new little family for the next 4 days. Mr Hasdogswantshumans was a proper trooper and stayed with us, “sleeping” in a reclining chair until we were released home to adjust to our new lives.

This was 10 weeks ago now. Those 10 weeks have been the busiest, hardest, quickest, most wonderful weeks of my life.

Twins are definitely a handful. But I guess that just means we get double the good times to go along with the hard bits.

It’s undoubtedly been a steeeeeep learning curve as first time parents and I was so anxious about my husband returning to work after him having 6 weeks at home with us, but it turns out I’m pretty capable of looking after 2 babies (and 2 dogs, don’t forget the dogs, they’d never forgive me – I’m on thin ice after bringing our sleep thieves home as it is!)

The babies are doing so well, gaining weight at the speed of light, becoming more alert and alive every day.

So I suppose my username is a bit redundant now. I have my very own humans – Although the fertility clinic did write to us about our embryo storage last week, so maybe wants more humans?

….. Who knows



It’s 3:53 am as I start this blog. My sleep has become a little more challenging of late.

And as the title suggests, my current gestation is 35+4 weeks!

34-35 weeks was what my midwife has told me is “average” twin delivery time since my booking in appointment, so 35weeks has always been an aim in my head – which also just so happened to be my husbands birthday – what finer present could I give the man?! It might have been all downhill in the present stakes after that point though, thinking about it.

Ive been plodding on since Christmas. Plodding sometimes being the operative word, as I feel more and more like overpacked donkey/small family car. I think in all honesty, I could or perhaps should have started my maternity leave in parallel with breaking up for Christmas. The 2weeks I worked into 2018 felt difficult and I ended up taking a few days off sick last week as I’d contracted some germs. I started with D&V and still have the remnants of  horrible cold. Listen to your body anyone?! But still, I managed to complete my handover and left with things in a state I was fairly happy with.

I also passed said germs to Mr Hasdogswantshumans, right in line with his birthday 🤦🏻‍♀️ So the (surprise) treats I’d lined up for him (us) have been postponed until this coming weekend which is definitely something I’m looking forward to. A night away in a fancy (local!) hotel and a reservation at a Smokehouse nearby – my husband is a big carnivore!

And lastly, but by no means least – I was given a date for a planned c-section yesterday. So no later than the 9 February and we’ll be meeting our daughters. That’s just 15short days! Eeeeeeeeep.

Its not the way I’d wanted to deliver, but you gotta roll with the punches in this game haven’t you? Baby closest the exit had turned breech at a growth scan I attended at around 32weeks and had not turned back when I attended the presentation scan yesterday. Upper baby is transverse so neither of them currently in a position that fits with natural delivery! Should I go into labour ahead of the 9th I’ll be treated as an emergency section from the get-go, which I’d very much like to avoid. But should I make it as planned, I’ll be just shy of 38weeks which I’d be very happy with.

And hopefully, as someone who’s never had major surgery before and is very squeamish, will give me time to find a little inner calm about the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong, I see the positives. My rational brain knows exactly why things are having to happen this way and I trust my doctors/midwife and consultants, I get that its for the greater good…. but the other bit of my brain is freaking out a little bit over the whole thing. I need to seek out some of my c-section surviving friends and do some relaxation exercises on the subject I think!

So over and out for now I guess, with a little luck I’ll be able to update on how the whole thing went in the not *too* distant future. Wish me luck!

A glass of non alcoholic wine and a bath bomb

Was what greeted me on my return home today and jeeeeez was I ready for it.

I finished work for the Christmas break on Monday, but this carrying twins malarkey is hard!

On Sunday I’ll be 31 weeks. Time seems to have sped up dramatically this last month or 2.

I have a new bathroom and the carpet layers are visiting next week in amongst all the festivities, we just need to get cracking on the nursery and we’re in the home straight.

I’ve been counting myself lucky recently, not just for the obvious, but to be tall, with a long torso (not something I ever thought about being thankful for previously!) only over the last few weeks have I been struggling with being pregnant, I have no idea how a Kylie Minogue sized lady would carry twins! Never have I been so glad of not being dainty 💪🏻 I feel pretty ok most of the time. Bit achey, bit tired, but I’ve sailed through this pregnancy mostly problem free – and long may it continue.

The number I have in my head is 35weeks. If I can get there, hopefully everything will be straight forward. No or minimal NICU time. And if I’m going all out, a natural delivery too please!

Although 35 weeks is only a month away…. 😬

Few more weeks won’t hurt!


I’ve been anticipating getting to this point in my pregnancy.
We’re viable. Which in layman’s terms means that should the babies be born right now, they stand about a 50/50 chance of making it. These odds increase in their favour the longer they stay safely on board.

Everything has been progressing well. I’m growing all the time, but not too hindered by my bump yet. I feel them move around each day which has really helped with my anxiety.

I’ll be seeing the midwife on Tuesday. Have my next growth scan the following week – And this afternoon we’re attending a twin antenatal course. Not sure what to expect, but we know very little about caring for babies, let alone 2 babies at once, so this seemed necessary!

Our mothers have thrown themselves into knitting and crocheting like there’s no tomorrow. The things they’re creating are adorable. And it’s so lovely to see them both so excited to meet their granddaughters.

That’s me for now. I’m hopeful for another dull update in the coming weeks – well maybe not too dull, Christmas is round the corner! 🎄

21 weeks – Who runs the world?


We returned to the hospital yesterday for a rescan after the BG’s were uncooperative at our first attempt at an anomaly scan.

All is still progressing just how it should be. Which is a weight off for another few weeks.

We decided to find out the sex of the babies and as the title of this blogs suggests, we have 2 little ladies on their way to the world. For some reason I’d always struggled to see myself with girls. But now I’m daydreaming about raising little wild colourful feminists 🌈

Have managed to keep my mind mostly occupied since our last scan, we’ve been busy with birthdays, trips, weddings and anniversaries, but as usual, in the build up to our visit yesterday I began feeling anxious. This is alien for me. I rarely worry about anything ordinarily. I don’t know if this is a product of our loss or it taking us 4 years to get to this point or whether all pregnant women feel like this – Whatever the reason, I wish I could shake it!

We started our baby shopping in the last few weeks, just booties, baby grows and wipes, but it’s a start, after being too afraid to purchase previously.

We’ve also started to renovate the upstairs of our house. Moved into what was our spare room over the weekend. We still have a bathroom to rip out and replace and a nursery to organise… told you I wasn’t a worrier! Haha. We’re going to be busy over the next few months 😆

Below is 21weeks progress -, also, they’ve gotten quite kicky over the last week or so! I first noticed it not long after we’d landed in Germany for my best friends wedding. The baby highest up in my stomach even managed to kick my husband in the face one night when we were chilling out in our hotel, his head resting on my belly.

This is one way they reassure me they’re doing ok in there without the help of a sonographer.

My next hurdle is my 24week midwife appointment and 25week progress scan. I hope to spend them with as little to report as possible!

Barry and Maurice

I’m currently having a little lie in, lounging around in a strange, but lovely bed in Scotland.

I’m 15 weeks pregnant today. 105 days. I was informed this morning that our babies are the size of an avocado or a chocolate eclair. Doesn’t seem enough for how large I’m feeling! Haha. Most of my first trimester symptoms have dropped off now thankfully. I’m just left with huge, tender boobs and wanting to sleep a lot. By comparison, I’m all for the second trimester! 

I’ve started to allow myself to believe that this might actually be our time. We saw the Baby G’s (or Beegees for short, that’s where Barry and Maurice came from, Mr Hasdogswantshumans hates it when I refer to them as that 😁 worse still, Bazza and Mazza!) at our 12 week scan. Wiggling around, even body popping at points, little hearts beating away, it was incredible. But I still wasn’t confident in telling many people. 

After 4 years of trying and a miscarriage, I just didn’t (and sometimes still don’t) trust that we’ll make it. So no social media announcements. No shouting from the rooftops. The people who knew about treatment now know and are overjoyed for us. Along with a few work colleagues. But that’s your lot. 

I’m being scanned 4 weekly for growth monitoring which will hopefully help to ease my worries, with my next one being a week on Thursday at 16+2. Seeing the midwife a few days prior, where she tells me she’ll attempt to chase 2 heartbeats around my belly, hopefully that will be wonderful ❤

So Barry and Maurice, I hope you’re having a whale of a time in my expanding tummy. I put a lot of hard work in making your accommodation a palatial, 5 star temporary home over the last few years. Your Dad and I can’t wait to have you in our own house early in 2018 – it might not be the luxury surroundings that my uterus is currently providing, but we promise it’s filled with an insane amount of love – and you’ll probably be ready to move out of your cramped living conditions by then anyway.

Eating for 3

So yesterday was our viability scan and as the title of this blog suggests, we got a surprise!

I had managed to stay fairly calm until the 24 hour run up to the appointment, but by the time we were sitting in the waiting room for our scan, I’d mentally prepared myself for the worst, fearing another horrific viability surprise. 

What we were faced with was a different kind of surprise – 2 little heartbeats flickering away, 2! As soon as I saw those black and white flutterings my tearducts got the better of me. Mr Hasdogswantshumans was grinning from ear to ear and the nurse said that this was the best bit of her job.

We’d joked about having twins, we obviously knew it was a real posibility. When 2 embryos are popped back at transfer (this was at the clinics advice, not our insistence), you kind of talk yourself into believing that neither will stick, it doesn’t enter your mind that everything could go exactly right and you end up with twins!

So it’s taking some getting my head around. Every so often, one of us just goes *twins!!!!* and we obviously have loads more hurdles to jump before we’re at the finish line, but I fell a little bit in love with those blobs on the screen yesterday 😍

    So far, so good

My last blog was just post egg collection, I think. Seems forever ago. The days that came immediately after were (unexpectedly) angst ridden. I hadn’t counted on being so stressed about getting that call each morning to see how those little 12 eggs. were doing. And they really string it out… it feel’s like when they tell you who’s won on Xfactor –

*Hello is that Mrs Hasdogswantshumans?*

*Hello, yes good morning* – same number you’ve been calling for me for the past few weeks, hurry up….

*Are you OK today?*

*Yes, thank you* Less smalltalk please 

*Could you just confirm your date of birth for me please?*

Huff *Yes, day/month/year* for the love of God good woman, what are those embryos doing?! Have they all arrested over night? Have they mutated into the next evolutionary step? Has the clinic burned down and they met a firey doom? SPEAK!

Long story short, of 12 eggs, 9 fertilised. 48 hours in, there were 2 groups – 5, 4cell embryos and 4 straggling 2cells embryos. 

By 72 hours in, I was losing my shit – we’d been scheduled for a 3day transfer as my clinic shuts over the weekend and day 5 fell on a Sunday. They hadn’t called by 10:30 to give me the latest. We needed to leave for the clinic at 10:45 to be on time for our 11:30 arrival as planned – I’d told them this the day prior. So I called in a panic. They reassured me that we were still going ahead and they’d call back asap with the latest. So on our way in, they called. There were 2 front runners. Both 8 cell, grade 2, one with little fragmentation, the other with an average amount. They advised to pop both back – we’d always said that we’d go with whatever the professionals deemed best, they know what they’re doing 1million percent more than we do in this situation. So after a little conflab on the remainder of the journey, we went with it and agreed to 2.

There were other embryos that didn’t look in such good shape, but they said that they’d monitor them over the weekend, as they were in an embryoscope anyway, and keep us updated.

So, had the 2x 3day embryos poofed back home, easy peasy 😊

The clinic called on Monday morning to inform me that one of the embryos had defied all expectations and made it to a great looking day 6 hatching blast. This was such unexpected, but wonderful news! She said that they needed to freeze it asap or the nurses would be changing its nappies.

2 week wait was annoyingly slow.

I started to get an inkling that maybe things were going as we’d hoped last weekend. I also developed OHSS last weekend, which hasn’t been fun! I’ve been drinking water like it’s my job and not really been able to eat much at all (I ❤ to eat!) and my stomach is still so bloated that I look 4/5 months pregnant.

…. when in fact I’m only 4/5 weeks pregnant 😊 I’m feeling really cautious about it at the moment. Not really allowing myself to get excited. But we tested on Tuesday (day my period should’ve been due) and got a positive. And again today, on OTD and got a darker positive. So I’m just trying to thinking about it in little chunks. Next hurdle, beta test at the clinic!

But as I say in the title of this blog – so far, so good.

Eggs in a basket- aka test tube

I’m currently having a snuggly afternoon in bed after having my first ever egg retrieval this morning – I’d thought that I’d be having an Orange is the new black binge, but Netflix informed me it wasn’t out until the 9th in the UK  (I must have been looking at a US release date previously 😒, boooo)

But I digress. I’d spent the last few weeks super super relaxed, without even trying really. I think we’d given ourselves time to get over our miscarriage late last year, regroup and really feel ready for this. My acupuncture lady even commented on it when I saw her last week. The injections were fine (a necessary evil, but fine), things were progressing well at scans, I only really started to struggle with bloating over Sunday and Monday, things were going as planned. But this morning on our way in, stuff started to feel really real. I’m not an anxious or easily stressed person at all usually, however, there was a ball of unease steadily growing in the middle of my chest.

I think my husband had picked up on this as from the moment we walked through the doors of the clinic, he was in full comedy mode. Doing his best to make me laugh and generally being the loveable idiot he is. That or he gets his jollies having to bust one out in a sample pot at the clinic. (We were told that his sample was good, post egg retrieval too 😁)

So anyway, we were both prepped, details triple and quadruple checked and shown to our room (which was actually quite nice). And we waited. I’d taken all the preparation drugs I needed, the last one being a relaxant, which actually had me chill out a lot. 

And in we went. 

My clinic apparently doesn’t do sedation (I hadn’t expected to be) though neither had I expected the retrieval to be quite as rough a ride. They told me one of my ovaries was placed really high up and they had a nurse put quite a lot of pressure on my tummy to help the doctor get where she needed to be. Some parts were quite intensely uncomfortable. But I got through. Without gas and air to boot! They tell me it was all over quite quickly, (to them at least, my lady bits would tell you a different story!) And they managed to collect 12 eggs. They seemed pleased with that number. It sounded good to us too. Allows for some of them not fertilise (as is the norm) potentially for some of their development for halt (also normal) and for us to hopefully still be left with a handful for both fresh and (future) frozen transfer.

So all in all, it went pretty well.

Now all we have to do is pass the time til we get that phone call from the embryologist tomorrow and keep our fingers and toes crossed 🍀

And they’re off

Just had my sister give me my first shot of menapur. 225ml. To my belly fat. I’m horrible with needles, literally can’t look at them without feeling a bit queasy. So between her (she’s an ambulance worker) and my husband, I’m hoping to avoid giving myself any injections.

Have felt fairly relaxed in the run up to starting IVF. Having completed 3 rounds of IUI, we’re familiar with a process that’s similar. But it’s all become very real – drugs arriving, them eyeballing me from the fridge each time I open the door and now the first one being injected. 

I had a conversation with my acupuncturist the other day, she asked me how I was feeling about the impending IVF, I said fine, and I genuinely am. The only anxiety I feel is when I think about the outcome. Not the process.

If it fails – obviously massively deflating. 

If it works – worry.  Having miscarried last year, I’m not sure how I wouldn’t feel anxious about this happening again. 

However… I have a lot of drugs to take, scans and bloods to be checked, egg retrieval, (assumed) fertilisation, embryo transfer and then the dreaded wait before we see whether or not we’ve had any luck!

So, let’s press on 👊